You guys, as I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep the other night (a task that seems easy but is so so difficult sometimes!), I was going over the day in my head and found myself criticizing EVERYTHING I did that day. I found myself walking through the events of the day and wishing I had done this better, or was better at that, etc. When I realized what I was doing to myself I had a thought. “Why do we try sooooo hard? And why is it so hard to be happy with ourselves?”
We try so hard to be the best mom, the best wife, the best sister/daughter/friend, we try so hard to keep our homes clean and pretty, bake a homemade cake for our kids upcoming birthday party, do Pinterest worthy art projects with our kids, volunteer for ALL THE THINGS, etc. It. Is. EXHAUSTING! Why do we try so hard and put so much pressure on ourselves to be the absolute BEST at everything?! It is an impossible task to be the BEST!
Who was it that decided there’s something wrong with being good? What’s wrong with being a good mom? What’s wrong with having a home that’s lived in and filled with love, laughter, play and creativity, and yes…not always clean? Who was it that said we had to bake a cake (if we hate baking cakes), and not just buy one from the store, or better yet, ask your super talented neighbor, who actually likes to bake, if you can pay her to make the cake for you (yes, I’m talking about you, Rhonda 😉 ). Why do we think we have to volunteer for vacation bible school, field trips, school parties, every committee we’re asked to be on, and every request we ever receive? Who said that we can’t be good people without being the best, and without doing ALL THE THINGS?! Reality check – we aren’t made to do all the things!
We literally lay in bed at night and go over all the things we didn’t “do well enough” that day. All the things we wish we had done better and will aim to do better tomorrow. We lose sleep over this every night. And even worse, we miss out on good and precious moments from the day because we are too busy worrying if we are doing the best at everything. Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t want to do better and be our best selves. Personal growth and the desire for change and growth are SO IMPORTANT. It is healthy to want to improve and be the best we can be. But oftentimes the pressure we put on ourselves, and the standards we hold ourselves to can be a little much… like literally crazy, unattainable standards.
So my challenge to you, my beautiful friend, as well as to myself, is to lay in bed at night and think of all the good things and moments that happened that day. Make mental checkmarks by the laughter, the hugs, the smiles, the messes, the mistakes, all of it. Work to feel gratitude towards those things instead of regret and criticism. Life is short. It’s too short to live each day wishing we were the best at everything, when it’s completely ok to be good and grateful instead.
Trust me, you are so so good. People love you, and look up to you, and are inspired by you every day. I have a bracelet with this quote on it “there is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” I believe this is true, and if you are not a mom, just change the word mother to what pertains to you. There is no way to be perfect, but a million ways to be good.
Stay wild my friends! Xoxo – Chrystal